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fic - two flirting doves : 11 [misc] - the turnip patch
version 2.0
fic - two flirting doves : 11 [misc]

Two Flirting Doves : 11

"Relena's looking hot."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

They watched as she toured the floor in a slim dark blue dress, performing the hostess duties with her typical grace.

"No, really," Duo continued.  "If you ever get bored of Preventers work, you've obviously got a bright future ahead of you as a personal trainer."

"I'd work by referral only."

"I'd totally refer you."

"Would you use my services yourself?"

"Are you kidding?  With this bod?"  Duo gestured at himself as suggestively as he dared in a public formal setting.  "Of course I don't need your services.  Are you saying you don't think I look hot?"

"I thought Relena looked beautiful before I started working with her."

"Over the protests of her foolish but well-intentioned husband.  How did you sell him on the idea?"

"It was an issue of Relena's self-confidence.  Plus, I want her able to either defend herself or run away in case something comes up.  Both will be easier now, which has less to do with baby fat and more to do with strength and stamina training.  Losing the baby fat was a nice side effect."

Duo nodded sagely.  "Yeah, that'd do it.  Without even a single smudging of the truth, too, far as you're concerned."

"I was glad she handed me the excuse, honestly."

"I'm sure you were."  Duo watched the crowd for a few seconds before he turned back to Heero.  "Wait, so are you implying that you do think I look hot, right now, as is?"

Heero remained silent for a moment.  "'Hot' is not a term I would normally use to describe someone's appearance."

"Yeah, but you were implying, which means it doesn't matter what particular word I used.  It's the gist of things that matter."

"Of course I think you look fine as is."

"No, you implied more than 'fine', buddy-boy.  Unless you mean like, 'damn, he looks fine.'"

"That is also not a phrase I would normally use."

Duo made a sound of amusement.  "Fine.  Whatever.  I don't think your services could improve much on this, though."

Heero shrugged slightly.  "Who can say?"

"Whoa, hey.  Them's fightin' words."

He took his eyes off the floor.  "I'm just saying... I'd probably need to take a better look at what's under that suit to make an accurate assessment."

Duo's lips took on a lopsided tilt.  "Ah.  I see.  I'd be happy to prove to you that I'm not in need of your... trainer services."  He paused.  "Wait, are you implying you checked Lena out before agreeing to work with her?"

Heero snorted and turned his attention back to people-watching.

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14 comments or Leave a comment
sharona1x2 From: sharona1x2 Date: January 5th, 2014 03:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
These two need to get a room already! If I were Duo, I'd give in and let Heero take a better look train him. Pride be damned. :-)
turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 6th, 2014 08:16 am (UTC) (Link)
'Already' is right.  It's funny that this ficlet implies that Relena fell in love, got married, had a kid, had enough time to fret over the baby fat, and managed to work it all off.... and the boys STILL aren't together. ^o^
pellsfan From: pellsfan Date: January 5th, 2014 05:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Do I detect a bit of jealousy from Duo in that last part? Methinks Heero's reaction to his question would make Duo start working out harder than normal. We know that they are all very competitive.

turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 6th, 2014 08:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Methinks he would show off the goods to Heero as soon as possible and simply make Heero concede that he is 'fine'. ^_^
lavendarlizard From: lavendarlizard Date: January 5th, 2014 08:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Would we see a month of intensive gym-ratting before letting Heero examine the goods? ^___^

Trying to picture Heero spotting Relena on the bench press... O.o


turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 6th, 2014 08:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh, the first go at this one had Duo offering to show Heero the goods that very night after the party, but that seemed a bit too bold for this collection.  It also occurred to me to have Duo make a crack about Heero's 'other' services, but it seemed a little too crass for me/them.  But I'm sure that these hypothetical services could top off Duo's healthy glow. ^_^

Strength training can be accomplished in many different ways... I imagine that the basic self-defense he would make her learn would be pretty decent strength training in and of itself.
sunhawk16 From: sunhawk16 Date: January 7th, 2014 12:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Now I'm kind of wondering about Relena's husband and the shape he's in. Poor guy... surrounded by Gundam Pilots and Heero trainees. I hope he's got his own routine, or he's gonna end up with a complex and the marriage is just doomed... :D
turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 7th, 2014 08:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I left room in there for you to assume that the husband is Wufei, if that's your thing.  Her foolish and well-intentioned husband thought she was beautiful as-is and didn't want Heero doing anything that would reinforce negative body image issues in the lovely mother of his child.  He would also admire Relena for her mental/emotional strength, not her physical strength.  He might even see it as his own duty to protect her physically. =p
sunhawk16 From: sunhawk16 Date: January 9th, 2014 01:43 am (UTC) (Link)
I have written them together, and I can totally see that attitude from 'women are weak!' Wufei...
turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 10th, 2014 07:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Hm, my brain went a different direction.  I was thinking more like, how often do we see Heero feeling the need to protect Duo, and vice versa?  Perhaps 'duty' isn't quite the right word, but it's still 'i must protect my mate rawr'.

Heero was able to sell this hypothetical Wufei on the workout plan because it would give her some ability to protect herself.  This hypothetical Wufei wasn't all like, no it's her place to stay in the back of the house and i will protect her rawr.  There's obviously a recognition that Relena will get herself into trouble, regardless of how the men in her life may want to protect her.  But Wufei would also want her to be able to run from trouble or escape from kidnappers or at least assist in her rescue, which is really all Heero was targeting.  I think Wufei's initial objections would have been more to the idea of turning Relena into a physical warrior of some kind, and not only is that 'not necessary' (since she has all these people around her whose job it is), but it would also make her less Relena.  Once Heero reassured him as to the scope of his ambitions, Wufei relented.  (not even mentioning what kind of horror one immediately feels when heero i-disarm-nukes-for-breakfast yuy offers to 'train' one's wife in the art of self-defense...)
sunhawk16 From: sunhawk16 Date: January 11th, 2014 01:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hmmm... and then a strange competitiveness by proxy between Heero and Wufei... *ponders*
Nah... that would be going to far! :D
turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 12th, 2014 07:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Relena wouldn't marry anyone who couldn't accept Heero's presence in her life. =) I suppose it'd be harder without the presence of Duo in Heero's life. ... Not that they've even together yet in this particular ficlet. -_-
ramenkuri From: ramenkuri Date: January 9th, 2014 02:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, hot and heavy flirting! I love the banter.
turnippatch From: turnippatch Date: January 10th, 2014 06:59 am (UTC) (Link)
With any luck, maybe they'll finally almost sort of get hot and heavy together possibly after the party. =p
14 comments or Leave a comment