jei (turnippatch) wrote,

the turnip patch v2.0

No frills.
Just the fics.
And a short prelude.

Because this is just a table of contents, really, and it's the fic, not the packaging.

I'm not very writerly, and yet one day I found myself writing.  I'm a 1+2+1 sort of person, and I'm guessing my claim to fame is writing lengthy stories that move fairly slowly.  The action is slow, and the character development is slow, but hey, at least it's there, and it's moving.

After many, many long years, this page has finally changed, but hopefully, the change isn't too jarring.  For a complete explanation of why the patch mutated into v2.0, please read here.

No real warnings, besides the fact that I'm the only one that vets my writing, and I respect Relena. (don't hit me.)

Standard disclaimers apply.

On with the show.  I present myself for your judgment.

~~ Moments of Haven ~~
welcome to my line of fluff loosely resembling a get-together.
these are all in a single timeline, listed chronologically,
but perhaps not posted chronologically.  keep an eye
on the updates list down at the bottom for details.

to borrow a line from Kodak (TM): Share moments, share life. ^_^

AC196 and AC197
Haven is ridiculously long, so the first two years are moved onto their own page.

AC198 Part 1
And now the next logical subsection is on its own page.

AC198 Part 2
And now the next logical subsection of Haven.

AC198 Part 3
The rest of AC198.

AC199 Part 1
From Back in Town to Paying Up.

From A to H
Obligatory Tragic Past scene, variation 2.

Good Hair Day
A weirdly big silly little thing in their funny little household.

Free Henry
And thus begins their journey into the great backyard.

Back Porch
In which we start out talking about back porches, but digress significantly from there.

Digging holes isn't nearly as easy as it sounds.

A little detour yields an unexpected find.

Good Cleaning Fun
Duo gets his way in a number of things.

I bet it's not unusual to hear a stapler still referred to on L1 as a hotchkiss.  So too can the same strange drift explain this?

High-Risk Behavior
And thus they begin their annual check-in with HQ.

I've Got This Friend...
A couple of short random scenes gluing together a couple of more interesting scenes, wherein they act all coupley.

Sleeping Elephants
Sometimes, it's surprisingly okay to poke things.

Lunch with Relena.

Royal Gardens
A walk through the Royal Gardens of Sanq.

April Showers
Retiring after a night on the Sanq town.

Battlefield of the Pacifist
In which Heero's over-protective tendencies seem almost tolerable.

In the Market
Another boring slice-of-life conversation with Wufei.

Ye olde traditional 'home sweet home' moment.

Slow Burn
Sometimes, even Duo can't keep up with the things he's saying.

Afternoon Mist
Their adventure continues through a misty afternoon.

Pillow Talk
A few hours after the previous chapter.

The Great Outdoors
New things show up in their backyard.

Going Fishin'
Just another one of their meandering conversations that goes every which way but up.

frequently asked question: is haven over?
answer: no.  it'll go on.  and on.  and probably on.

~~ Haven-inspired Fanart ~~

Photos by I-chan
Not Haven-specific, but Haven-inspired, so close enough.  No fanart is bad fanart, I'd like to say.

~~ Moments in a Dorm Room ~~
prequel series to haven
psst! hey, why is the prequel listed after the sequel?
well, just because.

In the Beginning
warning: I do not channel Duo very well, but sometimes I find it necessary.  So.  Just a quick summary of what brought them to the dorm room in the first place.

The Arrangement
They do a little interior decorating.

Sheep and Sleep
Would you believe it's a story about sheep and sleep?

Why Ask Why?
A brief digression on the etymology of profanity, from a random Heero POV.

Obligatory Bully Scene
Why does it seem like every high school fic has a bully in there somewhere?

A Momentary Inconvenience
In which I totally belabor a certain point for the sake of finally getting to its ultimate purpose in the next part.

Out of Commission
In which I have finally reached the certain point.

Heavy Thinking
Medication.  Gotta love it.

Out of the Box
They're suddenly back at school again.  Why do I feel like I intended to have something between this chapter and the last?

Four Percent
Ah, the dreaded bell curve.  To the rescue in this case, though.

There Once Was a Man
A midnight conversation.  There probably ought to be a clever limerick to go with the title... but there isn't.

Reverse Psychology
The shrinks at HQ serve their purpose in bringing the boys together in their own unintended ways.

Peanuts, Walnuts, and Pecans, Oh My!
The boys are a couple of nuts.  Which was the original title, but then I decided this one had a more interesting ring to it.

Option C
Because sometimes A and B just aren't enough.

Obligatory Tragic Past Scene
Gee, it seems like every fic needs one of these, too.

In which we learn a little bit about respect, and about being chosen.  Maybe.

One Man's Junk
Heero Yuy.  Warrior.  Philosopher.  Geek.

Sometimes remarkable things really are just commonplace.

I think it's probably pretty obvious what I was doing when I got inspiration for the beginning of this little chapter...

I'm sure I use the word 'idiot' far too many times in this chapter, but it's sort of necessary when discussing lowbrow humor.

First Steps
One of the best things about writing the haven holiday arc was not having to come up with titles.

One Hot Night
One hot night for no other reason than that I was sticking to my chair during a couple of hot nights writing this.

Death and Taxes
Aha!  I've finally overwritten the first part of Haven!  Take that, fic from seven years ago!

Evening Run
Some people, you just sort of have to admire their tenacity in the face of adversity.

~~ Kyuuketsuki Duo ~~
This thing gets its own index.

~~ Really Damn Long One-Shots ~~

The Faithful and the Brave
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  42
Current summary that's probably not nearly as temp as I want it to be: Guys fighting to right the wrongs in front of them against a backdrop of political intrigue and tangled succession, saints and sinners, the nobles and the noble.  And Final Fantasy lore.
Word Count:  ~120k.

Additive Identity
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31 
Submitted to gwyaoi's 2006 novella challenge.
Summary:  A time of political unrest and violent protests reveals that there is more to Heero Yuy than anyone had previously known.  Now, while on the trail of a new rebel movement, those closest to him struggle to understand this 'new' version of him, only to find that nothing has changed at all.
Preceded ByAxiomatic.  I'm told that prior knowledge of Axiomatic is not essential to the understanding of this fic.
Pairing:  same as always.
Word Count:  ~120something k.
Warnings:  Zero is my friend.
Bonus SceneRecovery, takes place after Additive Identity, minus the epilogue sort of thing at the end.

Touch the World
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26 
Submitted to gwyaoi's 2005 novella challenge.
Summary:  The pilots strike a deal with the government after the war, but Heero Yuy, at least, doesn't get what he signed on for.  When an unexpected event propels him back into the limelight, he finds himself trapped between what he was and what he has become.  Now he must struggle to figure out what he wants to be as he is caught up as a reluctant participant in the world's events.
Pairing:  I continue to find filling this field in to be something of a joke.
Word Count:  108k something.
Warnings:  Some foul language.  Black comedy of a sort.  Post-canon life-altered pilots.
Paraphernalia: here.

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28
Submitted to gwyaoi's 2004 OTP novella challenge.
Cheesy summary:  After five years of being blissfully unaccounted for, Heero Yuy finds himself called back into service when the Preventers report that something highly classified has been stolen from their custody.  Reunited with his former teammates, he must hunt down the missing hardware, but just who is behind the theft, what is the ultimate goal, and what price will he have to pay?
Pairing:  Take a good long look at the rest of this page.  What do you think is my OTP?  Although, if you think too hard about it, you'll find this OTP has a little... twist.
Word Count:  Something like 156k for the whole thing.
Warnings:  Heero POV.  Yes, the whole bloody thing is one long sustained Heero POV.  Hope you like him.  Also, random technobabble of the fictitious sort.  And of course, don't go into this thinking it'll be all full of lemony goodness, or even action-packed adventure.
Followed ByAdditive Identity.
Bonus sceneA little something from the middle of part 16.

The Best Laid Plans
Submitted to gwyaoi's 2003 1x2 AU novella challenge.  Inspired by the guy at the Whole Foods Market.
Summary:  Heero.  Duo.  AU.  Slow development of relationship.  (i don't write anything else, do i?)  Grocery shopping.  'Nuff said.  Or, if it's not, I think this is its official tag line: Heero Yuy had resigned himself to being a grump for the rest of his life, and he was well on his way, too, until he met one Duo Maxwell, who somehow managed to turn all his notions upside-down.
Pairing:  the limit of f(t) = 1/t + (1x2) as t approaches infinity.  That is to say, it asymptotically approaches (1x2).  Which actually makes a beautiful sort of sense, since it has to go through (1+2) first... and you notice that f(t) never even gets close to zero, too, which means that there will never be nothing between them... and if we take t to be the time domain, where t > 0, then f(t) will always be positive... ::blinkblink:: I can't believe I just said that.  Anyway.
ArtPlans paraphernalia

Gang Aft Agley
Sequel to Best Laid Plans.
Summary:  Heero.  Duo.  AU.  College.  Relationship.  No grocery shopping this time.
Warnings:  longer than the first part.
Pairings:  duh.
Art:  see above.
Grumpy:  see above.

For Promis'd Joy
Sequel to Gang Aft Agley.
You know, now that there's three parts to this, does it still qualify as a one-shot?

I Backward Cast My E'e
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31
Sequel to For Promis'd Joy.
But this is it, okay?  Totally the last installment in what's totally not a one-shot.

Grief and a Headhunter's Rage
Warnings:  ha, the day i need to write real warnings for a fic... is the day i need to write real warnings for a fic.
This fic is long.  Long as in 225 kb long.  This fic is about hospitals and doctors and medicine, of which I know practically nothing.  This fic is about anthropology, of which I know very little.  This fic is an AU, and it is angsty and depressing at times because it has a central theme of death.  This fic contains the growth of a quiet, but powerful bond between Heero and Duo that is essential to the point, but is not the point itself.  This fic is, oddly enough, inspired by the introduction of Culture & Truth: The Remaking of Social Analysis, by Renato Rosaldo.

~~ Extra Miscellaneous Fics ~~

Two Wrongs Make a Right
1 2  3
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

A Man and a Boy
My headcanon origin story for a certain someone.

Two Will Enter
1  2 3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  11
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

Two Left Feet
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

2 Legit 2 Quit
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12 
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

Two Sheets to the Wind
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

Two Doors Down
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

Two Peas in a Pod
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12
Another holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

Two Flirting Doves
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12
A holiday collection of stories.  Not intended to take place in any single timeline.

The Long Trip Back
An awkward 'I'm glad we talked' post-breakup fic.

Slow and Steady
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12
Bonus Scene 1  2  3  4
Slow and steady wins all kinds of races.  Holiday countdown 2012.

Rhythm Emotion
Duo learns to dance to the beat of his own heart.  Written for Moments of Rapture 2012.

"You know... every time another person asks you out... I'm afraid you're going to say yes."

Late Night After
It wasn't that Heero didn't remember how he had ended up in Duo's bed...

Christmas Present
It is pretty much the same as every other one of my shorts, except for the Christmas theme.  Yes, I know I used the same present in my last Christmas ficlet, and no, that doesn't bother me.

Boys-on-sofa fic is hard to name.  Sparked by me telling someone to give me a prompt, and that person saying 'I would never...'

Quality over Quantity
I need to stop writing shorts featuring the boys hanging out on a sofa together, chatting.

Coming to Terms
Felt like an RFO, so I wrote an RFO.

Dear Heero...
A little bird gave me two words: 'writer's block' and 'zombies'.  (okay, so that's three words, but whatever.)

Rules of Engagement
Heero knows his Duo well.

A Slip of the Tongue
Duo's mouth and good intentions slip him up again.

Where the Heart Is
Oh, Duo.  Outsmarting himself again.  As usual, mild swearing since Duo gets agitated.

A Ghost Story
Duo finds out this haunting gig's not half bad.  Warning: Duo is dead.  Dead, but hardly gone.  The thing started with a comedic feel, the dialogue and so forth.  But then since Duo's, you know, dead, it got bittersweet kind of fast.  Well, one might even argue the relative sweetness of the bittersweet.  One could even argue its angst.  I leave that as an exercise to the reader.  I still find it somewhat comedic.

New Year's Shift
Drama around a six-pack.  A shift in the new year.  Warning: Duo develops quite the potty mouth when he's agitated.

That Perfect Moment
You know, the usual.  A snapshot of that first time that spark between them showed its face to the world.

Chocolate Kisses
Little Hershey's Kisses' got big big chocolate. (<-- useless summary for a little ficlet thing.)
[ fanart for chocolate kisses ]

Perfectly Mismatched
So I started out thinking that this was just a cute fluffy little ficlet-lite, but then I realized that I'm quoting jingle lyrics from fourteen years ago.  Then it just got depressing.

Between Friends
A ficlet-lite wherein I could easily have had one or the other of them saying, 'what could possibly be more awkward than...?' only they knew better than to jinx themselves.

Excerpt from the Haven Holiday Special
A brief ditty written as a holiday season thingie when my haven timeline was nowhere near a holiday season.  It was supposed to be a part of havenAC198, but alas, when I actually got around to writing it, two years later, it went nowhere near this, so now this is a random ficlet one-shot.

Good Will
Look ma, a Christmas drabble!  It involves holiday things.   But not things that are holiday-specific.

Man in Black
Stop me if you've heard this one before.  'Cuz seriously, I'm surprised I've never seen anyone do this before, when it just seems so completely obvious to me.  (i refer to the mib part, not the part i ended up tacking on at the end because i needed some clever way to tie things up, which ended up transforming this into a completely unexpected get-togetherish thing.)

A Sister's Virtue
It's only a hypothetical sister and her hypothetical virtue that Duo makes up while talking to Heero on our way to fluffy get-togetheryness.
[ The Vault : Summer Lovin' 2006 Humor 3rd place banner ]

Well, if I'm going to spend so much time at work, I might as well get something out of it.  This ficlet inspired by listening to my co-worker tell his story of woe to anyone that would listen, often with regular updates, often within my earshot if not directly to me.  Not that I'm entirely without pity, but... I would be more sympathetic if I didn't hear the tale half a dozen times a day.  Because his tale didn't involve cute guys and vague implied possible romance between them like mine does.

Speed Dating
You know that thing where you meet up with a bunch of random people and talk to them each for like a minute and then score them and move on to the next person and get a list of numbers at the end?  Yeah, this has nothing to do with that.

Not Ours To See
Love-triangly angst.  Left open-ended as many other of these one-shots here tend to be.

No Man's Land
Pointlessness inspired by overhearing some guys talking at the office.  This one isn't even cute or fluffy.  It's just pointless.  Heero-Duo-ish, AU-ish.

Quite Dubiously a Ceremony
Ficlet.  Fluff.  Completely and utterly fluff.  Short and to the point.

No Regrets
Ficlet.  Bittersweet.  Oddly coming to me while watching The Sound of Music on Christmas, maybe around the time the baroness convinced Maria to return to the abbey.  Go fig.  Also a milestone for me in being able to write something tiny without having to come up with a big context and backstory for it.

Saying Without Saying
Ficlet of the soft and chewy kind.  For some people who were interested in seeing more of Plans, I found this in that setting when I was seeing it in my head, but with the smallest change of venue, I decided to generalize it out to a generic one-shot.  But if you want to see this happen in that AU, feel free to plug it in about a year after For Promis'd Joy.  (cheap trick to get out of writing more plans.)

Three Years
I got the urge to write a 1st person present tense, and as those things go, this is probably a spectacular failure.  By which I mean, the tense is almost wholly irrelevant since practically this entire thing is dialogue or short, choppy sentences.  But it was amusing to write, at least for a little while.  The 'plot', such as it is, is rather unoriginal, by the way.

Three Years and an Hour or So
Sequel to Three Years.  I may have gotten a little carried away with the soup in this one.

Anatomy of a Kiss
Whee, mushy gooey Heero POV ficletty goodness.  And naturally I assume that the 'he' in the story is Duo.

*ahem* erm... yeah. *koff*
summary: "Would it be too embarrassing to say that I fell in love with his code before I ever fell in love with him?"  -_-;  Heero POV.  Ficlet.  I'm glad this only took an hour of my life.
warning: nerdiness abounds.  no, really.  you can't imagine.

So this is sort of like a 'what-if' for Haven.  Got bored at work one day.  It's just a different way they might have gotten together, but it can stand on its own as just a fluffy pointless little ficlet.

Punishment for the Dead
Yeah, so people technically die in this one, but I view it as more of a philosophical sort of death. =p Of course, I also think it has a happy ending, so... come on.  You know I wouldn't leave my boys stranded high and dry without each other, right?  AU.

Standing Still
The angsty songfic that wasn't.  Heero AU POV.  This one goes out to a certain magic carpet of my acquaintance, visitor number 14465.

Going Nowhere
Continuation of 'Standing Still'.  (can you believe it?  a scene at a dance club, with no alcohol, no strippers, and no erections!) (...i say that like this fic isn't angsty or something.  -_-; it's angsty.  just in case you needed that warning.)

Treading Water
Continuation of 'Going Nowhere'.  This should be the last piece in this series.  Treading water is yet another stationary activity, something you do just to keep your head out of the water, until someone cares enough to pull you out of it.  And yet, a lot of potential drowning victims tend to flail their arms wildly in a panic even when they're being saved, don't they?

Ahem.  If I had my druthers, I'd just as soon take this thing down altogether, but for some reason, that just seems fake or something.  *shrug* I'd suggest not reading it.

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twowrongs added 12.26.20 - 01.06.21
amanandaboy added 07.27.20
twowillenter added 12.26.19 - 01.06.20
goingfishin' added 08.17.19
greatoutdoors added 03.17.19
twoleftfeet added 12.26.18 - 01.06.19
faithful&brave42 added 10.07.18
faithful&brave41 added 08.30.18
faithful&brave40 added 07.30.18
faithful&brave39 added 06.24.18
faithful&brave38 added 04.28.18
faithful&brave37 added 03.24.18
faithful&brave36 added 02.24.18
twolegit (misc) added 12.26.17 - 01.07.18
faithful&brave35 added 12.02.17
faithful&brave34 added 10.13.17
faithful&brave33 added 08.13.17
faithful&brave32 added 07.15.17
faithful&brave31 added 06.04.17
faithful&brave30 added 04.23.17
faithful&brave29 added 03.18.17
faithful&brave28 added 02.15.17
twosheets (misc) added 12.26.16 - 01.07.17
additional history evident from posting dates

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